How to Write Partner Preferences That Lead to More Relevant Matches

Many people fill in preferences in a hurry, then wonder why their suggestions feel random — or, on the contrary, why they see so few profiles. A few careful minutes make a real difference. This guide walks through each field, explains what Matrimony.fr does with your answers, and gives examples you can adapt.

Where to find your preferences

Go to Dashboard → Partner preferences. You can also fill them in while creating your profile; they are optional at that stage but required before you sign your matrimonial contract, because the contract needs an annex describing the person you are looking for. (French consumer law expects that annex to mention the age range, region, family and professional situation and other essential qualities sought — see why Matrimony.fr uses a matrimonial contract.)

How Matrimony.fr uses your answers

• Suggested matches. Your preferences are one of the factors in Match Rank, the score that orders the profiles on your "My Matches" page. Profiles that fit your preferences tend to appear earlier; others appear later. Nobody is removed.
• Search is separate. The search page has its own filters, which you set each time. Your preferences do not restrict what you can find there.
• Your contract annex. When you sign, your preferences are copied into the annex. The signed contract keeps that version; if you change your preferences later, your matches use the new answers straight away and your next contract will include them.

More on how ranking works in 11 Porutham, numerology and Match Rank: what each tool means.

Field by field

Age range

Choose the range you would genuinely consider, not only your ideal. A range of eight to ten years is common; a two-year window shuts out many compatible people for very little gain. Ages must be between 18 and 99, and the minimum cannot be higher than the maximum.

Region or country of residence

Write where your future spouse could live, in plain words: "Île-de-France", "France", "France or Switzerland", "Europe", "anywhere". If you are open to relocating, or to your partner relocating, say so here or in your qualities. Diaspora families often find that widening the region matters more than any other setting — our guide to Tamil matrimony in France and Europe explains why.

Family situations you accept

Tick every situation you are genuinely open to: never married, divorced, widowed or separated. Divorced and widowed members are respected members of the community; if you would consider them, ticking these boxes brings them into your suggestions. See also second marriage: starting again.

Professional situation and education

Describe what matters rather than a job title: "in stable employment", "any profession", "studying or working". Education is optional and works the same way. A precise requirement such as "doctor or engineer only" is your right, but ask yourself whether it describes character or only status.

Qualities you consider essential

This free-text field says the most about you. Aim for three to six concrete points that would actually change a decision.

Avoid wording about skin colour, "fairness" or appearance. It hurts people, says little about a life together, and tends to discourage the very families you would like to hear from.

Religion and community (optional)

These are sensitive personal data. They are saved only if you gave the separate sensitive-data consent in your profile, and only then appear in your contract annex. You can leave them empty; many families prefer to discuss these topics in conversation rather than in a form.

Five common mistakes

1. Copying a parent's wish list without discussing it. Parents can help, but the preferences — and the contract annex — describe the member's own wishes.
2. Setting everything to "no preference". Your suggestions then rely mostly on other factors, such as horoscope and profile completeness, and feel less personal.
3. Making every field a requirement. Each extra condition pushes compatible people further down your list.
4. Never updating. After a few weeks, look at who you actually contacted and adjust.
5. Expecting preferences to replace conversation. They start a search; they do not decide a marriage.

Involving family, respectfully

In many Tamil families, parents take part in the search. That can be a real strength: they bring experience and perspective. The fairest way is to sit together, fill in the form as a conversation, and let the person who will marry have the last word. Our article on conversations to have before marriage suggests questions to ask each other later.

In short

Good preferences are honest about what matters, open about what does not, and reviewed from time to time. They give your suggested matches a sense of direction and give your contract an annex that really describes you.

Next step: open your partner preferences, then check that your own profile is as clear as the one you hope to find — our guide to creating a trustworthy profile can help.